AY VEE PEE

New levels of interdepartmental robo-jealousy plague the 2000 AD droids this week as the Rebellionite programming nerds upstairs are given permission from King-Slay 1 to throw a hedonistic oil-fueled 48 hour rave in their office after the news Aliens vs. Predator has reached no.1 in the gaming charts.

The ceiling of the sub-sub basement pounds up and down, spreading dust and detritus all over the monitors, desks and stacks of progs. A grim, menacing silence descends as droid stares glummly at droid all secretly wishing they where invited...

Damage Report #1674

Cyber-Matt risks earning the wrath of The Mighty One by taking a day out of the office for a rapid domicile reassessment scenario, or painting the living room before the new carpet’s laid. His aching limbs and run-down servo-motors are rewarded with the news that the new sofa now won’t fit through the piggin’ door...

Robo-a-robo

Pye-01 sacrifices a small office dwelling rodent and does a dance to the great Bulb God, before heading out into the car park to wrestle a headlight bulb into a ridiculously small cavity not built for human-scale hands under the bonnet of his fem-bots hoverKa. The Gods smile down upon him and within 25 minutes the task is complete, albeit with scratches and filth all over his grabbers, an aching back and a mild feeling of futility in the face of unthinking, cheaply made electrical parts... not unlike what he feels after looking at his colleagues.

w3bz says...

Never confuse emotion for professional courtesy...

Damage Report #1673

Robo-K33F trundles into the office a day later than usual, needing to catch up on some charging time after the madness of the SFX Weekender. He apparently had to stay up all night getting lubed and draining his backup batteries to dull the creeping horror of his supplied accommodation.

ACDC

R1F4 is contemplating on whether to attend Download festival this year... ACDC and Megadeth (the mighty ginger one!) on the same bill. Bring on the HEAVY METAL THUNDER!

Galvinizatron...

By complete accident w3bz discovered a source of self-sustaining fuel not unlike the fleshy ones mythical "Cold Fusion", and realised at once the iconic potential to end the Earthlets self-inflicted suffering. It was just a shame that he'd already fitted it to a new device to burn failed submissions - and it warmed his feet.

Monday mornings

Kat-Scan applies to Tharg to get a second scanning arm fitted due to the impending mass of GN work looming over her desk, but is sharply rebuffed and simply fitted with a device to make time go slower, effectively allowing her to work 36 hour days.

In one stroke the Mighty One solves both the scanning problems and drastically reduces the amount of droids applying for upgrades...

Praise

It is with some trepidation and continued cynicism that w3bz has awarded 24 hours of “moderately less harassment” for Pye-01's recent Blogish achievements. It required very little input from the current presider over 'all-things-web' and that the layabout-arty-type managed not to drok the intaweb completely.

Damage Report #1672

The droids prepare for the SFX Weekender in sunny Camber Sands, with Robo-K33F loading up the boxes full of books and CHARL•E organising the talent. But will stomachs stay strong enough to make it? Viruses sweeping the country have proved efficient in destabilising circuitry, and then there’s the effects of dodgy fry-ups...